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Written by Vivian A. Scott
Whether it's the guy who interrupts every meeting with his blustering complaints or the gal who stomps around the office for no apparent reason, it's no fun dealing with a crabby co-worker. In fact even the calmest employee has been known to lose his cool once in a while when having to contend with the antics of a sourpuss in the workplace.
The easy assumption in such situations is that the Grumpy Gus you're up against is purposefully wreaking havoc just to needle you. That may be true in some instances, but such an explanation is more the exception than the rule. Consider these surprising things about your coworker that will help you deal more effectively with his irritability.
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Written by Vivian A. Scott
Usually blurted in a moment of frustration, asking, "How would you feel if I...?" is often a last ditch effort by the speaker to be heard, validated, or understood by the listener. I admit I've said it myself when I've fumbled around for the right words to express the hurt or disappointment another person has caused me. Hearing myself or anyone else utter something akin to, "How would you like it if I did that to you?" or "If I treated you that way, you wouldn't be very happy!" almost always makes me wince because I know the question rarely moves a conversation forward. In fact, it frequently does just the opposite-and here's why:
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Written by Vivian A. Scott
My mediation practice often sees families in various states of emotional disrepair. Everyone from husbands and wives filing for divorce, to exes still fighting over some long-ago event, to parents who refuse to speak to one another no matter the topic have asked for my help. Regardless of their unique situations each of these couples has a few things in common-namely children and a need to create a sense of family out of what could be seen as non-traditional family circumstances. You may be in a similar position and wondering how you can get past the past, so to speak, in order to create a family approach that you'd be proud for your children to emulate in their adult lives.
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Written by Vivian A. Scott
Volunteers aren't any different than their compensated counterparts; they have a responsibility to behave professionally, to get the job done, and to hold themselves accountable for their actions. Where they differ from salaried employees, though, is in the type of currency they expect in exchange for their services. All workers--paid or volunteer--are motivated by such things as recognition, reputation, and teamwork, but volunteers often place more importance on their unique motivating factors than paid employees do. If a paid employee isn't getting the recognition he believes he deserves, he may say, "Well, at least I'm laughing all the way to the bank." That fallback position isn't true for a volunteer and thus his need for getting his values met amplifies.
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